She Feels Guilty Leaving Her Daughter Behind To Go On A Trip With Just Her Husband, But He Thinks She Is Being Selfish And Putting Her Daughter Over Their Marriage
This 35-year-old woman and her husband, who’s 38, have been together for around three years, but she also has a 9-year-old daughter from her first marriage.
So, despite her and her husband’s relationship being generally good, there is one topic they tend to argue about – how much time they spend as a family versus how much alone time they should get as a couple.
And when her husband recently brought up the idea of going on a vacation together, it pushed her to the brink because he didn’t want to bring along her daughter.
She understands that he wants quality time with just her, which they don’t get a lot of in the midst of parenting. At the same token, the thought of leaving her daughter behind makes her feel super guilty.
“My daughter’s with me most of the time, and she’s been looking forward to the idea of a family vacation all year,” she explained.
“Honestly, she doesn’t get to see her dad much, and she would be absolutely heartbroken if we went on a trip without her.”
That fact pushed her to tell her husband that she wanted to take her daughter on the getaway as well, and he wasn’t happy. He claimed the entire point was to reconnect as husband and wife.
“He thinks we need this time alone without having to worry about parenting, and yeah, I get that,” she admitted.
On the other hand, it’s not like they’re able to travel all of the time, and making her daughter sit this one out doesn’t feel right.
prostooleh – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Regardless, her husband is adamant that if his daughter is there, then he won’t get to truly relax. He also accused her of putting his daughter’s needs above their marriage.
She’s pretty angry about this, too, because it seems like he expects her to choose him or her daughter – which she believes is really unfair.
She tried telling him just how difficult it was to “switch off” mom mode, yet her husband kept calling her selfish.
“Now we’re stuck. He says if my daughter comes, he doesn’t want to go, and I’m starting to feel like I’ll just feel guilty either way,” she vented.
This has left her wondering whether she should focus more on their marriage or if she’s right that her daughter needs to come first.
Is it important to strike a balance when parenting to ensure your spouse doesn’t feel neglected? How do you suggest she handles this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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