He’s Thinking Of Calling Off His Engagement After His Fiancée Said She Didn’t Find Him Exciting And Settled Down With Him Because He Made Her Feel Safe
This 29-year-old guy and his fiancée, who is 28, dated for just under two years before they got engaged a few months ago. He thought everything was great in their relationship, too, especially since his family really liked his fiancée.
However, his perspective completely shifted just the other day when he overheard her talking to a friend about him on the phone.
His fiancée seemed to be giving her friend relationship advice and claimed that, in order to find “the one,” excitement should not be an important factor.
“My fiancé isn’t exciting, but he makes me feel safe, and that’s when I realized I wanted to settle down with him,” his fiancée said during the call.
Her statement caught him completely off guard. He’d heard about women going for “bad boys” before eventually settling down with a “safe” option for a husband. Still, he didn’t think that applied to them.
So, the following day, he flat-out admitted to hearing what his fiancée discussed on the phone and asked what she meant when she called him unexciting.
To his surprise, she just doubled down – detailing how it was true that she didn’t believe he was that thrilling of a partner – but that it “didn’t matter.”
“I honestly felt very hurt. Maybe my ego is fragile? I don’t know,” he pondered.
“But it was a surprise to me because I felt like the way I see myself in my head was colliding with how she sees me, and it made me feel spaced out.”
Mego-studio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
His fiancée wasn’t able to explain exactly why she didn’t find him exhilarating. Soon, she also realized that her words had upset him, and all he could do was make an excuse to leave – as he couldn’t talk to her anymore.
In the wake of what happened, his head hasn’t stopped spinning, either. He genuinely thought that he was an “exciting guy.” After all, he has tattoos, rides motorcycles, practices MMA as a hobby, and goes to the gym.
“I’ve always seen myself as being that exciting guy. My ex was basically obsessed with me and constantly made it clear she found me exciting,” he detailed.
Yet, his current fiancée simply doesn’t view him the same way, and it has caused his whole sense of self to crumble.
“And what made it worse is I am excited by her,” he vented.
Whenever he sees her, he can’t stop thinking about her and fantasizing about being with her. Obviously, though, those feelings are not reciprocated.
While he knows it might sound crazy, this realization has even pushed him to consider calling off their engagement altogether. He’s just not sure if that would be a total overreaction or not.
How would you feel if you found out your partner didn’t see you as an exciting person? Is it okay to be viewed as “safe,” or does it suggest his fiancée is “settling?”
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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