Her Boyfriend’s Unhappy That She Wants To Stop Being Vegetarian For A Week While She Visits Japan
Sometimes, the choices you make regarding the food you eat (or don’t eat) can put some strain on your relationship, and that’s what this 34-year-old woman is now experiencing.
For the last four years, she’s been a vegetarian, but her 34-year-old boyfriend is not. He adores steak, and he’s a wonderful cook.
Never once has her boyfriend asked her to eat meat, and she’s never tried to turn him into a vegetarian. They respect one another’s dietary decisions.
“I don’t care what he eats; it’s 100% his (and everyone else’s) choice,” she explained. “I don’t talk about being vegetarian, don’t promote it, and I try to figure out my own food if I need to so I don’t inconvenience others (sometimes it’s hard to find a restaurant with a vegetarian choice besides a side salad, so I’ll do the legwork to find a restaurant everyone will like).”
She never once thought that her being a vegetarian irritated or inconvenienced her boyfriend in any way.
Her boyfriend has been accommodating about it, as when they went to spend time with his family for a whole week, his mom redid her risotto to include vegetable broth just for her.
She did not request this, and she thought her boyfriend just generously asked his mom to make this substitute for her.
On another vacation she and her boyfriend went on, they found restaurants with vegetarian dishes she could enjoy. It wasn’t hard for her to find things that she could eat on that trip, even though they mainly dined at seafood places.
Soon, she’s headed off to Japan for a work trip, and she might just stop being vegetarian for that week.
Look! – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I told my boyfriend I was considering eating meat during that week so I can fully experience the culture and food,” she said.
“That means sushi, wagyu, ramen, things like that. I’m not sure if I can actually get myself to eat meat during the trip because I think I’ll feel guilty about it (my choice to be veg is because I feel bad for how animals are raised, treated, farmed, and the nature of how they’re usually killed; I know I can get humanely raised meat, but I choose to abstain all together). I miss sushi and steak the most, but again, I abstain.”
“My boyfriend’s take: He is upset that I would consider breaking vegetarianism for this weeklong trip, but I wouldn’t consider breaking vegetarianism to have a steak with him. It makes him feel like he’s not worth it. It makes him feel like the trip and the coworkers I’m going on the trip with are more important than him.”
Her boyfriend enjoys cooking, and he loves sharing that with people in his life. He’s obviously never been able to whip up a special steak dinner for her since she doesn’t eat meat, which surprisingly bothers him.
While she has had dinner with her boyfriend at steakhouses, eating anything other than steak, her boyfriend maintains it’s not the same as them both sharing a nice steak. He was about to honestly cry as he told her he just wanted them to be able to do this together.
He also said he’s really tried to be accommodating, like picking restaurants where she can eat things other than salad and asking his mom to tweak her risotto, but he feels it’s somehow a waste now.
“I understand it would make him feel bad that I’d consider eating meat on the trip, but I haven’t offered to eat a steak with him,” she continued.
“I feel terrible for making him feel this way and making him feel less important or less worthy. I apologized for this and apologized for making him feel this way.”
“I told him that’s not it, it’s not that he’s not worthy, that this trip is probably once in a lifetime, and I’m afraid that if I have a steak here at home with him, I’m concerned it’ll become a slippery slope. I told him I don’t want to stop being vegetarian.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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