What’s the fastest way to kill your own romance? Tell your significant other that you’re no longer doing sweet things for them since you don’t think they’re deserving.
Sadly, this is exactly what’s going on in this 31-year-old woman’s relationship with her 37-year-old boyfriend.
They’ve been dating for two years, and in the past, he would purchase flowers for her, open doors for her, and hold the door for her car, too.
He really helped her with everything, but now he’s no longer doing any of these things. She thought to ask him why he changed out of the blue, since it was making her feel terrible and like she did something bad.
Her boyfriend responded that she does not appreciate his kind gestures, and he doesn’t believe she deserves it.
His reply caught her off guard, as she has done nothing but express her gratitude for his kindness; it’s not like she’s been taking him for granted.
She also certainly didn’t expect him to do these things for her, especially since she’s an independent single mom with a 12-year-old child, so it’s always on her to care for everything and everyone.
When her boyfriend entered her life and began doing sweet things for her, it made her feel amazing, and since that’s been taken away, she feels awful.
A few evenings ago, her boyfriend unexpectedly opened her car door, so she said it made her feel wonderful, considering he’s gone a while without doing this.
stockbusters – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“…He told me that he doesn’t mind doing things for me when I deserve them,” she explained. “This made me feel worse all over again.”
“IDK what I’m doing to “not deserve” them to be done. He doesn’t buy me flowers anymore, either. And when I ask what I am doing to make him feel I don’t appreciate these things, his response is, “I don’t know, it’s just a feeling I get that you don’t appreciate it, and I have a right to feel this way.”
She suspects this somehow stems from his own self-doubts since she is not acting any differently at all.
She does love her boyfriend, so she’s tried to bring this up multiple times, but he always has one response: she does not deserve his kindness.
But anyway, after the opening of the car door, the following morning, her boyfriend went on a weird rant about how life is all about not getting things if you don’t deserve them.
That really threw her for a loop, and made her feel insecure as well as sad. It’s almost like he’s being spiteful in some way or like he no longer thinks she’s good enough for him.
She’s left wondering if this is normal behavior. What do you think?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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