Her Boyfriend Made A List Of All The Things He Hates About Her, And She Found It
Over the last year, this 25-year-old woman and her 26-year-old boyfriend have really struggled. It’s mainly due to her boyfriend copping an attitude, experiencing mood swings, and picking fights with her.
Suddenly, she felt like they were no longer on the same side and that there was a major change in their relationship after spending three years together.
She’s attempted to discuss this with her boyfriend, who brushes her off and claims he’s tired and stressed due to his job.
She believed him, but then she found the list he made of all the things he hates about her, and now she thinks he’s lying.
It all started when her boyfriend was driving and asked her to go through his phone to find something he needed.
She went into his notes app, which is where he told her to look, and there it was: an open note detailing everything he despises about her, of all people.
“In bold, it listed things such as me having a crappy job, bad teeth, health problems, unloving family, anxiety, and coming from a poor family,” she said.
“Immediately, I pretended like I didn’t see it and swiped away, but I’m a fast reader and quickly saw too much. I could tell it went on for a while.”
“I honestly didn’t even know if I should bring it up, but my BF detected my low mood a couple [of] days later and asked, and I confessed to seeing it. At first, he was upset and told me that it was an invasion of privacy and that it wasn’t meant for my eyes. I explained that it was apparently the last thing he has opened there, and it was hard not to notice it when it had my name at the top.”
Liubomir – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Her boyfriend said sorry and promised the list was old and that he crafted it during a fight they had where she told him to cut out his attitude. He excused the list as something he made to feel validated about him not being garbage.
The problem is the timelines don’t match up. The list is hardly old, as he updated it only a couple of days ago, and she caught that detail when he showed her the note.
As he scrolled over the list right in front of her face, she could see an alarming number of negative things listed.
Her boyfriend admitted it was not mature of him to make the list in the first place, and he said he loves her.
“I don’t know how to move past this,” she added. “I keep thinking about all the things that were written and how he has made jokey comments about a lot of those things.”
“Some of them were previous insecurities that he gave me reassurance on. Some are messed up, like commenting that I have poor/abusive parents [and] came from lower class.”
“Like, how is that a negative against me?? I’m not like that whatsoever! Some are mean, like saying that my health issues are problematic and he might be a drag down the road. My BF has chronic health issues and many other things he listed as bad about me. I would never, ever put those things on a list of bad things. He can’t help them.”
If she had to outline what she dislikes about her boyfriend, it would be how much he forgets things, how irritable he is, and how moody he is. Her mind keeps circling back to all of the nasty things he spelled out about her. She realizes, on some level, that he absolutely believes his own words.
Her boyfriend expects her to forgive and forget already, but she can’t just do that. She understands that people sometimes do irrational things out of anger; though she’s never been that mad with her boyfriend, she would write an awful, scathing list about him.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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