Chip Chick
Figuring out how you’ll want to handle your finances and what kind of financial goals you have is crucial for a couple before they get married. If they can’t come to an agreement, they may find that marriage isn’t the best option.
A woman is considering calling off her engagement after discovering her fiancé wants to send his mom hundreds of dollars a month for the foreseeable future.
She is 29 and has been with her 36-year-old fiancé for three years. Since getting engaged a year ago, they’ve been discussing their next steps, hoping to buy a house and start a family within the next few years.
But something may get in the way of them living out those dreams, and she isn’t sure what to do.
“Over the last year, my fiancé and his brother have had to help with his mom’s bills [each month], as she doesn’t make enough from her job to cover everything,” she said.
“I’ve since also learned that she doesn’t have a retirement [fund] as she got divorced 20 years ago and was a stay-at-home mom.”
Her fiancé’s payments toward his mom, which have gone upwards of hundreds of dollars a month, made her realize that he and his brother are essentially her retirement fund and seem committed to taking care of her financially for the rest of her life.
She fears that for a large part of their marriage, their finances will be combined with her mother-in-law’s, which could affect their timeline in owning a home and having kids.
“I’m worried how this will affect us and our relationship, and I also worry I’ll feel resentful for her taking away from our family and future kids and what strain that will put on my and my finances relationship, as I feel there will be money stress,” she explained.
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