When you have a child with someone, you’re tied to them forever, and that’s something a lot of people don’t stop to consider.
This 29-year-old man has a friend who is 30, and his friend recently got dumped. His friend then got on a dating app and quickly met a girl a decade younger than him.
His friend has been dating this girl for about a month, so when his friend mentioned they’re not taking any precautions to prevent getting pregnant, he was shocked.
“I asked why he’s trying to have a baby with her, and he told me, “We’re not trying to have a baby, but if it happens, it happens.” She already has 2 kids, by the way,” he explained.
He and his friend are part of a social circle that includes 8 people, and they’ve all been best friends for 20 years.
Back when they were all teenagers, his friend used to say he really wanted to have a family. His friend comes from a really dysfunctional one, so he suspects that’s why he wants to build a family of his own.
Now that they’re all 30 or nearing that age, almost every guy in their friend group has settled down.
5 of their 8 friends already have kids, and a week ago, someone proposed to his girlfriend. It seems his friend feels pressured to keep up with everyone else they’re close with.
“And now it’s just us two that are not settled,” he said. “We were talking about this yesterday and had quite a long conversation.”
Dash – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He was asking me how I deal with knowing I’m missing out on what everyone else has. I said I don’t feel like I’m missing anything, and it doesn’t really occur to me that I am not settled. I have a comfortable life, and I’m not really bothered by not having a partner or a family.”
“Neither he nor I have had long relationships. He said there must be someone wrong with him that he’s not had a relationship longer than 1 year.”
The topic then turned to his friend and his new girlfriend and how active they are with their personal life.
He pointed out that it seems really early for his friend to have a child with this girl, as he barely knows her.
He then told his friend he has no way of knowing if this girl will even be a great fit for him in the long run, considering they’ve only been dating for a month.
“He said, “Well, I’m 30, I need to have kids with someone, and it needs to happen soon,” he added.
“I then asked why SHE even wants to have another kid with a man she barely knows, and he blew up at me, saying I’m in no place to judge them when I’ve been single for so many years.”
“I said I would much rather be childless than bitter. And then we kind of left it at that and moved on with our night.”
He’s left wondering how on earth he can get through to his friend and make him realize it’s an awful idea to have a baby with this girl.
He cares deeply for his friend, and would hate to watch him become a single dad, constantly in conflict with his baby mama.
Not to be judgemental, but his friend isn’t in a place in life that is healthy for having a child. He’s depressed, he lives with his mom and dad, and he’s in nonstop pain from an accident he got into a few years ago.
“Since nothing I said could change his mind, I would like any advice on anything I could say or do to help him,” he continued. “He has been a friend for my whole life, and I don’t want to see him suffer.”
What do you think he should say to his friend?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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