Chip Chick
If you’ve ever been in a relationship, did you ever find yourself ‘keeping score’ of all the good or bad things that either of you did?
For instance, did you ever get into an argument with them and only get angrier because you began recounting all of the other things they had ever done to make you mad?
Or, have you skipped out on doing anything nice for them because you counted up all the ways you had been nice to them before?
Keeping score in a relationship typically means that you’re a little too focused on making your relationship as equal as possible.
Am I saying that you should ignore any bad things that your partner does to you for the duration of your relationship? No! However, becoming obsessed with tracking how often you or your partner mess up or excel in your relationship can quickly turn toxic.
When you become a little too obsessed with keeping score in your relationship, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, but it is an indicator that you need to slow down and be more present.
This is because when you keep score or become what some relationship experts call a ‘scorekeeper,’ it becomes easier to feel taken for granted, victimized, unempowered, and vengeful.
In addition to the negative effects scorekeeping in a relationship can have on yourself, it can also negatively impact your relationship in a great way.
For instance, when you start keeping score and using certain things against your partner, it can make it harder for them to trust you, and as with many of us, trust is an essential part of keeping a relationship alive and healthy.
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