Chip Chick
When A Relationship Comes To An End, Everyone Mourns Differently
Everyone mourns the loss of a relationship in different ways. Some people throw themselves into their work, and others pick up new hobbies.
Some people spend all their time with their friends, while others start a journey of personal development.
The Worst Way To Cope Is Looking For A Rebound
Most relationship experts would probably agree that one of the worst ways to cope with a breakup is to immediately jump back into dating– otherwise known as “rebounding.”
This can range from random hookups to jumping into a serious relationship immediately following the end of a prior relationship.
At Best, A Rebound Is A Bandaid
A rebound relationship may seem like a great cure, but it is a bandaid at best to distract you from the grief and insecurity lingering from the last relationship.
Furthermore, jumping into a rebound relationship before adequately processing and grieving the previous relationship is a recipe for toxic behavior.
Here Are 10 Ways To Tell If You’re A Guy’s Rebound Girl
So, how do you know if you are his rebound girl? Here are 10 signs to look out for.
#1: He constantly talks about his ex.
This is one tell-tale sign you are a rebound girl. If they are still talking about their ex, chances are the breakup was recent. If the breakup wasn’t recent, they are still hung up on their ex, which is unlikely to pan out well for you.
They clearly aren’t over their ex, so you are just a shoulder to cry on and help them cope with their emotions.
#2: He wants to move fast with you.
If they recently got dumped and are already looking to date, that’s not a great sign. However, this is likely rebounding behavior if you add the desire to jump into something serious.
They use a serious relationship as a coping mechanism to avoid heartache. Suppose your new boyfriend was dumped last month and is already talking about moving in together or getting engaged. If this happens, RUN. You are his rebound girl– and it won’t last.
#3: His family and friends do not know you exist.
A common sign that you are the rebound girl is if you have not met his friends and family. Plus, his friends and family do not even know you exist.
This is a sign that he does not view your relationship as serious enough to warrant introducing you to his inner circle. If you have not met anyone close to him, he is not serious with you.
#4: His breakup was recent.
This one is straightforward. If his breakup/separation was within the last one to six months, you might be his rebound.
In this scenario, I am mainly speaking to serious long-term relationships, an engagement, or a marriage. If the breakup was unexpected or sudden, you are even more likely a rebound girl.
For divorced men, this rule is 50/50 because divorces take time, and this gives them a chance to grieve the relationship– so it will come down to how much contact they have with their ex-wife post-divorce and how much he talks about her.
#5: His ex dumped him.
Guys tend to handle breakups better when they are the ones who do the dumping. However, if she dumped him, he would likely need more time to move on.
So if she left him recently, and he is now latched on to you, he will need more time before he can have a healthy relationship with you.
This is especially true if she dumped him suddenly or the breakup was for unexpected reasons. Examples of this include:
-She cheated, and he found out.
-He caught her in the act of cheating.
-Then, she decided to dump him out of the blue for no apparent reason.
#6: He puts his ex on a pedestal.
If he constantly compares you to his ex and talks about his ex as if she is a goddess, you are not his priority– you are his rebound.
He is still way too into his ex, so dial it back and keep things casual at most. Don’t get too invested if he is fawning over his ex to you.
#7: He wants to be in a relationship but doesn’t want to commit.
Similar to the idea that he may want to move into a serious relationship too fast, he can also use you as a rebound girl if he hesitates to become serious with you after a reasonable time.
This suggests that he wants the feelings of a relationship but won’t make a move to commit to you. If he is hesitant to move forward with you, it could mean he has not truly gotten over his ex– making you still a rebound girl.
#8: He pretends the last relationship was no big deal.
If you start dating a guy and he tells you his last relationship was with his girlfriend of five years– and it’s “not a big deal”– then you are his rebound girl.
He is likely tucking away his pain and using you as a distraction so he doesn’t have to process how significant that relationship was.
#9: He is only interested in physical things.
You start seeing a guy who got dumped a few weeks ago. He seems well-adjusted, and the physical part is fantastic.
You are always with each other– hugging, kissing, etc. There is tons of passion and excitement. That sounds like a dream catch.
Unfortunately, you move to try to expand the physical aspect into the emotional one. Now is where the dream catch becomes less dreamy.
He has no desire to engage in the vulnerable parts of dating and has no desire to get to know you on a deeper level. Instead, he wants to keep things physical. That is when you find out you are his rebound girl.
#10: He is a serial dater.
Does your new man have a habit of dating for less than six months between all of his relationships over the past few years? Does he wait less than a week after a breakup before he dates again?
If so, chances are you are no exception. He wants to avoid being single– and you’re his latest rebound.
So, what do you think? Are there any other signs you would add to this?
