Chip Chick
Five years ago, this 35-year-old woman and her husband, 36, separated, and over the years, her husband gossiped about her with his family. Since then, they have had a reconciliation and plan to continue their marriage. Unfortunately, her in-laws weren’t fond of her and didn’t want to be around her after all the negative things her husband said about her while they’d been separated.
She and her husband have three kids and own two homes, each living in one during their separation. After reconciling, they agreed each of them could visit either of the houses whenever they wanted. They bought a third house not long ago that they’ll live in together with their children and are moving into it in three weeks.
“I told him I wouldn’t make him choose between his family or me and that I am okay with not going to their family functions as they don’t want me there,” she said.
Since their kids’ birthdays are around the same time of year, her husband said he was planning a joint birthday party to celebrate with his family. She thought his parents would host the party at their house or elsewhere.
“Yesterday, he told me he would be having a party at ‘his house’ for the children with his family and that I was not welcome. I said this was hurtful. I am open to seeing his family,” she explained.
While she acknowledged that it was valid if her in-laws didn’t want to be around her or allow her at their home, it was upsetting that her husband wasn’t allowing her in her home, her safe space, to attend her children’s birthday party.
According to her husband, she was irrational for feeling sad, reminding her that his family didn’t want to be around her because they weren’t fond of her. Later, her husband told her he hadn’t realized how heartbroken she was and suggested canceling the birthday party.
She told him he could still host the party, but she’d go out and do something during it. Her husband also assured her that he’d set boundaries with his family and ask them to respect her from now on. He told her that once they move into their new home, he will prioritize her over his family.
“He has asked that I reconsider his motives and that he was not manipulative, simply careless. He assumed I would be okay and would know that he was only doing this to avoid any tension around the children,” she shared.
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