Her Husband Agreed To Financially Support Her Studying To Be A Nurse After Having A Baby, But Her In-Laws Think She Should Work And Pay To Put Herself Through School
This 24-year-old woman is a stay-at-home mother; her husband, 28, has a full-time job. She and her husband have a 7-month-old son, and they’re considering moving to an area with a lower cost of living.
They could live on her husband’s income more easily in a more affordable town. Plus, moving would be a nice change of pace.
While she was pregnant, she and her husband came to the agreement that she would care for their son full-time until he went to preschool.
Not long ago, she’d been thinking of attending nursing school at night. She thought it would be a great plan to go into nursing in a few years and earn a decent living in a career that would provide her with fulfillment.
A nursing program would take her three years to complete. During their conversations about this plan, she told her husband that once she began working and making enough money to support their family, he could go back to school or change careers if he wanted.
They were both happy about this plan. Yesterday, her husband called his father to update him on life, and he was thrilled to tell him that she was going to start nursing school.
“His dad responded with discouraging comments about how hard healthcare is and then suggested that I get a part-time job and pay to put myself through school,” she said.
According to her father-in-law, she should be a full-time stay-at-home mother all day and a full-time nursing student on nights and weekends, all while working part-time. She knew this would be too much for her because she’d be parenting, studying, and working all week for three years straight.
If she followed her father-in-law’s advice, she would do nothing but work with no time to rest or relax. Plus, she and her husband could never spend time together if she was so busy. It wouldn’t be feasible, and, luckily, she and her husband are financially stable enough that she doesn’t have to worry about working while attending nursing school.
HelenPavlenko – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“The implication that my husband shouldn’t support me is hurtful and frustrating. It is not even close to the first time since my son was born that my in-laws have suggested that I get a job or contribute financially or implied that I am a drain on my husband,” she explained.
She and her husband are careful with their money and don’t overspend. They thrift, recycle, and save as much as possible, and she pitches in to support their family. Her husband has constantly stood up for her when his parents criticize her. He always explains to his parents that they’re content with their dynamic.
“They use every opportunity to imply that I’m lazy and unhelpful. There have also been comments about my weight and physical appearance since becoming pregnant and instances like his mom serving me noticeably smaller portions of food than anybody else during our visits,” she shared.
Her in-laws haven’t supported her, which is understandably deeply upsetting. She was thrilled to start nursing school, and now she’s worried she’s self-centered, entitled, and “lazy” for allowing her husband to financially support her while she goes to school.
In addition, she feels conflicted and guilty that she’ll have to take time away from her son to take classes.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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