He Wants To Divorce His Wife Of Over 20 Years Since She Makes Him Feel Dumb, Their Romance Is Dead, And It Feels Like They Just Coexist In The Same House
This 47-year-old man and his wife, 44, married when they were young. Unfortunately, the first few years of their marriage were traumatic because they both experienced significant losses. During the first year they were married, his parents passed away.
Three years later, his wife’s father sadly passed away. His mother-in-law is “crazy,” so neither of them has a relationship with her. Not long after that, they had two children, who are now in college.
“We’ve done a lot to hurt each other over the years. We both have walls. We just kind of co-exist. She says she loves me and wants to be my best. I don’t believe it. She has always been controlling,” he said.
His wife cooks, cleans, and schedules all their appointments while he is in charge of maintaining their home and vehicles. He works as an engineer and assumes he may be on the autism spectrum.
His wife makes him feel stupid and as if he’s irritating. Over the years, he’s wondered if he should file for divorce.
“I’ve been waiting for my kids to be grown because I had a traumatic childhood and didn’t want that for them. Now that they’re grown, I still feel stuck,” he explained.
They only communicate when they’re fighting, and they are no longer physically affectionate. For more than 20 years of their marriage, his wife has made him feel guilty for trying to initiate affection, and now he has no interest in doing so anymore. They haven’t slept together in three years.
“We’re completely disconnected. I want to be happy, whether alone or with someone else. I want her to be happy,” he shared.
He acknowledged his wife wasn’t content with their marriage, so he hired a lawyer. After his lawyer had drafted the divorce papers, he hadn’t filed them yet.
neirfy – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Even though he knows their marriage hasn’t been healthy or happy in years, he isn’t sure if he wants to divide and hurt their family in his search for fulfillment.
Whenever he spoke to his wife about ways to improve their relationship, she blamed him for all their problems. In his view, his wife would rather continue their unhappy marriage because she would financially struggle alone.
Throughout their marriage, he’s attempted to persuade his wife to attend couples therapy, but she always refused. He recently began therapy on his own to work through difficult childhood memories and codependency.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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