Emily Chan
Amish singles choose their own partners, but their courtship rules differ greatly from typical dating customs. TikToker Lizzie Ens (@lizzieh_wellness) is talking about what dating was like for her growing up. She was part of the Swartzentruber Amish, which is a subgroup within the Old Order Amish society.
In her video, she explains a hypothetical situation in which a guy and a girl go on a date. People in the Swartzentruber Amish could start dating when they were sixteen and a half years old, and they were only allowed to date at nighttime because they couldn’t be seen in public.
“Let’s say it’s Saturday night before a Sunday that is not church Sunday because we only had church every two weeks. So, the Sunday in between was the ‘visiting Sunday’ or the resting Sunday,” said Lizzie.
Around midnight, after going to bed, a horse and buggy will pull up to a girl’s door, containing four guys. One of the guys is her date. However, he can never come to her house by himself. He’s always with a group of other guys.
The guy who is actually there for the date does not ask the girl for the date himself. Instead, his three friends will enter her bedroom and ask her if she wants to go on a date with the first guy.
The girl can say yes or no. If she says no, the guys will try to convince her to agree to the date. Then, the guys will go back outside to get the first guy, and they all come inside to hang out in the girl’s room for about an hour.
Afterward, the three guys will return home, leaving the girl and the first guy alone. At that point, they’re supposed to go to sleep or continue chatting. But sometime during the date, they’re permitted to partake in something called bundling.
Bundling is when a guy wraps his arms around a girl, and they roll around together in the bed, still fully clothed. They can do that for however long they please. The guy may kiss the girl on the cheek or on the lips if he really likes her.
Then, they’ll go back to talking or sleeping. At three or four in the morning, he will get up and leave.
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