Her Friends Called Her Out For Not Being Able To Find A Good Guy Because She Always Ghosts Everyone She Meets On Dating Apps
This 28-year-old woman was recently called a jerk for ghosting men on dating apps.
She has high-functioning autism and suffers from social anxiety. However, no one seems to believe her struggles are valid since she is a beautiful woman.
For the last decade, she has been actively involved in the dating game.
Over the years, she has been in a few long-term relationships, but she met all of these men in person despite being on dating apps when she was single and trying to meet someone.
According to her friends, she hasn’t had any luck finding a man worthy enough to date because she constantly ghosts men on dating apps.
“And I explained to my friends that I’m ghosting guys when my social battery is low or empty. I get these phases sometimes up to weeks when I don’t feel like interacting with anyone, including my family and friends,” she said.
Currently, she is in therapy, and she has been making an effort, at the very least, to text family members to ask how they are, even when she doesn’t feel like she has the energy to do so.
She clarified that her behavior isn’t due to a lack of caring. Instead, it’s because she struggles to socialize with anyone outside of work, where she essentially has to be social.
However, there are other times when she has tons of energy to socialize and converse, and she feels more extroverted. And these are the periods of time when she is more open to talking to men on dating apps.
rilueda – stock.adobe.com- illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“Whenever I ‘disappear’ from a chat on a dating app for days, I feel so ashamed and embarrassed to come back to it when I feel social again. Guys already sent me a ‘Hi, how’s your day?’ four times, and I feel a literal pain in my chest because of the embarrassment of my actions,” she explained.
In the past, she has attempted to talk about her autism and social anxiety with men, telling them in advance not to feel hurt if she stops communicating with them. But none of them seem to take her seriously.
“They said stuff like, ‘Oh, but you don’t look autistic.’ Or they assumed I’m juggling with multiple guys. Or, when a guy was understanding at first, he still threw a fit because I ‘disappeared,’ even though I sent a text that my social battery is low and I need some space for a few days,” she shared.
Now, she wonders how she can try to stop ghosting men on dating apps and in her real life when she doesn’t have the energy to be social.
Understandably, it wasn’t a great experience to be called a jerk, even when she was honest and told a man ahead of time about her struggles.
While she acknowledges that it’s wrong when she ghosts a man out of nowhere, she also has been met with anger even when she tried to do her due diligence and let him know in advance that she needed time for herself.
She doesn’t advocate for anyone to ghost people, but she wants to learn what she can do to stop the behavior. Plus she added that she has never done this to someone she is committed to and in a long-term relationship with.
By this point, when she develops strong romantic feelings for a man, she becomes obsessed, and she is very loving and kind within relationships.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t know what to do now. Her friends, including her male friends, have been ignoring her because they’re upset that she repeatedly ghosts men on dating apps.
She accepts their feelings, but she still doesn’t know how to behave differently. In her view, she is a great girlfriend, but she has a hard time in the early stages when she is just starting to talk to someone new.
In addition, she believes it’s completely fair for men to be upset with her when she ghosts them. She doesn’t think that anyone should be obligated to feel empathy for her or understand what she’s going through, and she feels like she can accept that. In her opinion, she is the problem and not anyone else.
Do you think she’s wrong for constantly ghosting men on dating apps?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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