Chip Chick
Deciding to have children is a huge choice for couples. Before making this decision, it’s important to have conversations about what parenting together would look like for you two. Unfortunately, sometimes people will promise you one thing and actually give you another.
TikTok creator @momupdate2021 shares how she was let down by her husband’s parenting actions.
When she and her husband first met, she told him that she did not want to have any children. She loved being an Auntie to her 17 nieces and nephews but did not want to have children of her own.
Some people think that they do not want to have kids, but then when they meet their partner, something in them shifts and makes them more open to the possibility of having children with them. This woman, however, did not have this experience.
Her partner told her that not having children was a deal breaker for him. She decided to offer him a compromise.
“I will have the kids,” she said, “but I will never give up my career or my way of life for our kids. Like I’ll take care of them and love them obviously, like I know that, but I wasn’t going to be a stay-at-home mom, and I have an expectation of the way I want my kids raised.”
It was also important to her that if she did have kids with him, they were raised by them two and not by other people. She did not want her kids to be spending day after day with anyone but Mom and Dad.
“That would mean that he would be assuming the responsibilities of a stay-at-home father. Which means grocery shopping, cleaning, taking care of the kids, running them back and forth at wherever they need to go, and taking them to their appointments,” she explained.
After she went back to work, this mom quickly realized that her husband would not live up to the expectations that she had for him. She was frustrated with this because she had been upfront at the beginning of their relationship about not wanting kids and only made this compromise with him with the impression that he would take on a lot of the responsibility.
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