Katharina Buczek
Technology Has Turned Us Into A Bunch Of Stalkers
Gone are the days of bar run-ins, totally blind dates, and basically all romantic introductions that occur by happenstance. Instead, technology has essentially turned us into a bunch of stalkers.
Chances Are, Before You Go On A Date, You Already Scoured The Internet For Information On Him
Your friend set you up on a “blind date?” You probably Googled the guy’s name beforehand. Perhaps you even peeked at his LinkedIn profile to check his employment status or scrolled down his Twitter feed to see his stance on the Rihanna Super Bowl performance. We’ve all been there.
Meeting Someone At A Bar Is Also No Longer The Same
Meeting someone new at a bar is a totally changed game nowadays, too. Think about the last time you saw someone you thought was seriously attractive while out on the town.
You Used To Have To Talk To Someone Face-To-Face
In the past, you might have turned to a friend and asked, “Who’s that?” Then, after you learned the guy or gal’s name, that was virtually all the info you could get. So, you were literally forced to approach the person in the flesh if you wanted to learn more about them.
Times Have Certainly Changed
Today, though, times have changed. Even a simple response from your friend like, “Oh, that’s John– we work out together at LA Fitness,” can give you enough context to find an Instagram profile, a Facebook account, or perhaps worse, a cringy TikTok.
Why Does This Matter?
Now, you might be wondering, “Why does any of this matter?” Well, this tiny example just goes to show how millennials and Gen Zers are reinventing romantic norms.
Sending Messages Is The New Way To Court Someone
While courting someone in person was the go-to respectful way to show your interest in the past, sending an Instagram DM is now wholly acceptable. Plus, some even prefer it (thanks, social anxiety).
And Then You Have The “Three-Day Rule”
Other dating norms– like who should pay for the dinner bill and when it is appropriate to reach third base– have rapidly changed, too. And arguably, the most interesting dating “don’t” turned “do” concerns one age-old communication mantra– the “three-day rule.”
It Was Made Popular By Rom-Coms
This rule was popularized by all of our beloved cheesy rom-coms and essentially states that three days is the optimal time frame before reaching out to a potential partner.
The Rule Says You Should Wait To Text Someone You Like
For instance, suppose you meet a guy or gal one evening and score their number. The rule insists that calling the very next day makes you look way too eager or desperate. Likewise, calling on the second day seems too planned– for whatever reason.
Three Days: That’s The Ideal Amount Of Time To Wait
So, three days was decided to be the ideal amount of “waiting time” for contacting a suitor. On the one hand, you still look interested. But, after three days, the risk of you looking too invested has also seriously decreased.
This Guideline Was Popular From The 90s To Early 2000s
While this guideline was seriously popular during the 90s and early 2000s, though, texting and social media completely changed the game.
Many Are Confused About How To Adhere To The Rule
Some people are now confused about how to adhere to the rule– wondering if you should also wait three days to text or if the mantra only applies to calls. At the same time, many have simply thrown the “three-day rule” out the window.
So, what’s the real right answer? Well, I believe that even though we may wish some older ideas of chivalry were still around today, we can say goodbye to the three-day rule for good. Here’s why.
Say Goodbye To The Three-Day Rule
Yes, many people don’t like that social media takes some of the excitement and “guessing” out of dating. After all, you can learn about– and judge– someone’s hometown, occupation, interests, zodiac sign, and even past relationships without ever having to speak a word to them.
Why Wait To Text Someone You Like?
But, when it comes to the three-day rule, this is kind of a moot point. What I mean is, if you are wondering when to contact someone, the fact of the matter is that you are planning to contact them at some point anyway. So, with texting and countless social media platforms at your fingertips, why wait?
This acceleration of the process has even become a cultural norm– with some people wondering why they are not getting a text or call the morning right after a date! After all, it is so easy to shoot a text or DM– and unlike calling, you will not have to think of any cheesy lines on the spot.
Don’t Be Afraid To Reach Out If You’re Truly Interested
So, don’t be afraid to take advantage of instant communication if you are really interested in someone. Nowadays, we know how little effort it really takes to send a short message. And by not doing so, you might actually just turn your date off and make it seem like you are completely uninterested.
On a similar note, everyone’s lives have gotten busier and move at a quickened pace– partly thanks to technology. So, why shouldn’t our dating lives reflect that?
Why Sit Around And Wait To See If Someone Is Right For You?
I’m not saying to jump the gun and get into a relationship straight out of the gate. But what’s the use of sitting around and waiting to see if someone is right for you? Our time is a precious commodity, so cutting to the chase and figuring out what works for you– or what doesn’t work for you– is better sooner than later.
Take The Initiative
This is especially important for women to remember, too. If we go based on classic romantic comedies, men are “supposed” to be the people who make the first move, who reach out and coordinate a date. This year, though, can we leave that standard behind?
If you meet someone you want to get to know better, initiate. If you want to move forward with a potential suitor, speak your mind. And if you are done with a lackluster fling, don’t be afraid to end it.
Save Yourself Those 72 Hours Of Nothing
Take back your power and save yourself 72 hours. By cutting to the chase, you can claim what you want and cut out what you don’t need in your life. All the while, you can save valuable time and a lot of mental energy.
