A Guy From Her College Completely Used Her As A Rebound, And It Wrecked Her Self-Esteem
This 20-year-old girl currently lives in a dorm room at her college, and she has 2 different roommates.
Last summer, one of the 22-year-old guys that she knows from class sent her a message on social media saying that he thought they were basically “neighbors.”
At first, she found the message strange, but then she ended up hanging out with him that semester along with their roommates.
She ended up getting pretty close to him, and back then, he complained a lot about his girlfriend that he had and how terrible she was.
He always asked her and her roommates for advice on how to deal with his girlfriend, but then he wound up splitting up with this girl.
Now, she used to strictly hang out with him and all of their roommates, so it was a large number of people.
Then, one week rolled around when their roommates had other things to do, so they began hanging out with just the two of them.
“I never really had any feelings for him or entertained the idea of “starting” anything with him, but I started feeling like he was coming on to me,” she explained.
“It was little things at first, he would pay for my food when we went out, and he blocked me on Venmo when I tried paying him back. he was always super respectful, and since I was friends with him before, I genuinely thought he “wasn’t like other guys.”
deagreez – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“He was always super sweet and did a lot for me, and I started feeling bad for not reciprocating, so I kinda started “flirting” back.”
She flirted in a pretty measured way, though, as she was concerned that he had just exited a relationship that he was in for some time.
She knew it would be strange to jump right into something with him, so she did keep her distance a bit.
But things progressed between them; they ended up cuddling a lot, and then he asked her out on a date.
The date itself was wonderful, but in the days that followed, she felt that something was off. Her friend then texted her, asking if they could have a chat.
She agreed, and during that conversation, he revealed to her that he was still hung up on his ex-girlfriend.
He did go into greater detail, but she felt so silly for misreading the signs that she couldn’t even concentrate on everything that he said.
She did question him about if he felt anything for her or if he was using her as a “rebound,” but he claimed to feel something for her.
He pointed out that the timing was off for him, and he asked if they could still stay friends. Although she was crushed, she said yes to keeping their friendship going.
They have a ton of friends in common, so it would have been difficult to cut him out of her life completely.
That super awkward chat that they had was 2 months back, and while she is done having feelings for him, she feels that he really damaged her self-esteem.
She kept telling herself that if she was more gorgeous, or in better shape, or more intelligent, he would have really fallen for her instead of ending things.
“We’ve been texting here and there to check in every now and then, but I recently found out he has a new girlfriend,” she said.
“It didn’t make me sad because I still want to be with him, because I accepted that it “wasn’t meant to be,” but it just made me feel really bad about myself. I can’t help but compare myself to this new girl, and I feel so ugly and gross.”
“I’ve just never had luck with men, and I’m starting to think it’s more because I’m just unlovable and ugly and have a bad personality rather than the men I’ve met being horrible people.”
She also is upset because she isn’t ready to begin dating again. She believes he used her, and she can’t believe he found someone new so quickly, even though they were never in a committed relationship.
Do you think she should stop being friends with him even though she doesn’t want to?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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