For this young woman’s entire life, she has had to deal with people making remarks and jokes about her nose.
And aside from the statements making her feel super insecure, they were also upsetting on another level– because apparently, she got her nose from her father, who she had never met.
It all started with her grandparents, who, growing up, would say some pretty out-of-pocket stuff about the feature. And even after she became an adult and got engaged, both her husband and future in-laws would say things, too.
At first, she tried to take the comments from her in-laws as a sign of acceptance.
“My fiancé’s family never held back on jabs about my nose. And my fiancé said he knew they really loved me the moment they started with the jokes since they are the kind of family that loves to make fun of each other,” she recalled.
So, she worked on just not being sensitive around her fiancé’s family. But then, her fiancé actually started to reveal his own opinions about her nose.
They began after her fiancé had tried to make a comment that she believed was intended to be joking and sweet.
Basically, her fiancé said that he was so lucky she had her nose, or else he would have never had a chance with her.
Obviously, though, that was a really hurtful thing to hear, and that comment has remained swirling around in her head ever since.
irinaneva – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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It even solidified her belief that without her nose, she would actually be beautiful.
And after hearing that comment repeatedly in her head day after day, she began to consider getting a nose job and saying goodbye to the comments once and for all. She also realized that if she was going to go through with the procedure, she should probably get it done before her wedding day.
So, she brought the idea up to her fiancé, and he was perhaps a bit too supportive and excited. He even made a comment about how he was glad she would be “losing the beak.”
“That was something he had never expressed before I suggested it, which only confirmed to me that I needed it,” she said.
Well, she ended up getting the nose job. And honestly, even though her fiancé loves her new look, she absolutely hates it.
In fact, she feels like she looks like every other woman in the world except for herself. She had previously struggled with depression prior to the procedure and was finally in a good place. But, after going through with it, she was thrust right back into a place of insecurity and sadness.
“Now, I can barely get myself to leave my room for work. My fiancé is really frustrated with me and thinks that I ‘objectively’ look better and need to get used to it,” she explained.
“And I know I will have to, but I’ve been wearing a medical mask in the house because I can’t stand to look at my face.”
Rather than being empathetic or supportive, though, her fiancé has been berating her for her reaction to the new nose. In fact, he claims that she is sulking like a toddler– despite her having no control over her feelings.
On top of that, he also brought up their wedding day and asked how she was going to face everyone during the ceremony. And at that moment, she finally just told her fiancé that she did not want to be in any of the wedding photos.
If you could not have guessed it, though, her fiancé did not understand and just totally freaked out. He even said that her selfishness was going to ruin his happy day.
So, she tried to come up with some solutions that would make both of them happy. She suggested wearing a veil that covers her face, incorporating a scarf into the outfit, or even just wearing her medical mask.
But, her fiancé hated all of those ideas and even said that if she did that, then they might as well just not get married at all. And she was devastated.
“I can’t stand to see myself in pictures like this, and having everybody see my nose the whole day would make this even worse for me. I am already going to be blaming myself for the fact that I won’t have my nose in the pictures,” she vented.
At the same time, though, she also feels like she would be ruining the wedding day for her fiancé if she goes through with her plans. So, she has been left wondering whether or not refusing to be in any photos at her wedding would be a jerky thing to do or not.
Do you believe that her fiancé should have stood up for her after his family kept making jabs? What about his own comments– are those a massive red flag? If you were in her shoes, would you have to have wedding photos taken? How would you handle this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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