A 22-year-old girl has a friend named Mary who is the same age as her, and she’s been close to Mary since they were only 8-years-old.
She and Mary started out as neighbors, but they quickly became best friends. Although she and Mary have drifted apart a bit in their older years, 2 years ago, they reconnected, and now she’s part of Mary’s new friend group.
She does not hang out with Mary’s friends if Mary isn’t there too, and she’s fine with the fact that she’s not super tight with these people, though she does seem them about one time a week or so.
“I will say this; birthdays are a big deal with us,” she explained. “Especially with Mary. One time when we were teens, I forgot a certain date (not a birthday, an anniversary), and she would not speak to me for a while she was so upset. Remember this for later.”
“Parties are always thrown, and in the past, they even went to Vegas to celebrate. Next year we are going to Vegas to celebrate Mary’s birthday, and that was planned 8 months ahead. We are supposed to be buying out tickets in October.”
“Birthday parties are really not optional either; everyone’s got to go! We also do gifts and the usual stuff.”
Everyone in their friend group spends quite some time talking about the plans for their birthday well before their birthday rolls around.
Unfortunately, she’s kind of been excluded from this, and her friend group has never previously brought up her birthday before.
Since she’s not the type of individual to go ahead and plan a birthday party for herself, she figured that she would be by herself on her birthday this year, as her boyfriend needed to be out of town for something.
deagreez – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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Her friends in the group did know that she would be spending her birthday alone, but still, nobody brought up making any plans to celebrate with her.
Her birthday fell on a weekend this year, and a few days before, she sent Mary a text wondering what they should do for the weekend, but she did not point out again to Mary it would be her birthday on one of those days.
Mary replied back that she was planning on hanging out with her boyfriend, whom she had only met 2 weeks ago, though she hadn’t really finalized any plans.
Mary then said that she was hoping to spend time with him on that Sunday, which was her birthday. She wasn’t sure what to say back, so she just said, “oh, ok.”
She was really holding out hope that Mary and their friends were throwing her for a loop and that Mary at least would pull something together.
Her boyfriend even suggested that perhaps they were all planning to surprise her with a party.
“They actually did forget,” she said. “Everyone forgot. I never missed a birthday, and I never missed a party, and I always gave a gift.”
“I told Mary I will not be going to Vegas either with them for her birthday. That will make everything more expensive for everyone, and they will now have to cancel the trip overall since another person backed out before me.”
“It’s just too expensive with less people. Now her birthday trip is ruined. If I go, the trip is back on, but I’ve decided against it. My friends are very upset that I’m being this sensitive about my birthday enough to ruin a whole planned trip, relying on me as a participant.”
She does feel terrible that her birthday was destroyed, and she feels even worse that Mary’s birthday is bound to be ruined now too.
All of their friends were excited to go to Vegas, but they can’t go, so she’s letting everyone down.
It’s not really fair that if she was to ever forget about Mary’s birthday, Mary would cut her right out of her life, yet Mary did this to her and doesn’t understand why she’s upset.
She’s left wondering if she’s the worst for pulling out of going on Mary’s birthday trip. Would you have declined to go too after your friends forgot your birthday?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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