This twenty-four-year-old woman met her current boyfriend, Brent, at work. Brent is thirty-seven and used to be in a position of power over her.
But, after he transferred into a different department, they hit it off, began dating, and have been together for almost a year and a half now.
And everything had been progressing really well until just last weekend when she went over to Brent’s parent’s house for a family barbecue.
All of Brent’s siblings were there, along with their significant others and children. And at first, the night was going swimmingly.
Once all of the adults were sitting around outside toward the end of the evening, though, Brent’s seventy-year-old mother, Donna, announced that she had a surprise.
“She went inside and came back with a gorgeous pair of pearl earrings and said she wanted me to wear them down the aisle and pass them onto my own daughter,” she recalled.
She was very touched by the kind gesture and made sure to thank Donna. Then, Donna had her try on the pearls and model them.
So, she obliged, and it was a sweet moment for the two of them. Afterward, though, she went to take off the pearls and make a passing comment about not needing them for a long time.
“I’ll take them off and give them to you before I go; I won’t be needing these for a while!” is actually exactly what she said.
dariyad – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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But then, she felt the energy totally shift and realized that Donna was completely stunned. Then, Donna asked kind of defensively, “What’s that supposed to mean?”
The barbecue had turned completely awkward by that point, so she just stiffly laughed and said she was still only twenty-four years old. And afterward, she explained how she does not plan to even think about marriage until she is twenty-seven and does not want to have kids until she is at least twenty-nine or thirty years old.
After all, she wants to enjoy her twenties and live out her young adult life to the fullest before settling down and becoming a wife and mother.
Despite this being completely understandable, though, Donna did not take the news well at all. Instead, Donna literally burst into tears before making some wild accusations.
“Donna said that if that was the case, I should have told Brent before I ‘wasted his time’ and that if I wanted to be reckless and non-commital and not family-oriented, then I should have ‘done it with someone else,'” she explained. Major yikes!
This forced her to speak up for herself and tell Donna how hurtful that was to hear. She also underscored how she loves Brent but is still in school. So, she does not really have the time or financial means for a wedding and babies.
But then, Brent jumped into the conversation and actually made it way worse. He claimed that he made enough money to pay for everything until she was comfortable. And this only made his entire family start pushing marriage on her even harder.
In fact, they tried saying that being married at twenty-four versus twenty-seven is not that different. Then, they commented on how having kids while young is great because she will be with someone who is successful and supportive.
And finally, Brent’s family said she would still be able to “live her life” while young and how having children at her age was biologically healthier.
Clearly, the conversation progressed way too quickly for her liking, though, so she finally told everyone off.
“Brent has not even asked me to marry him, so it feels weird to have this conversation with everyone else before I have it with my own boyfriend. I’ll get married and have babies when I am ready to, not when anyone tells me to,” she told them before excusing herself from the table.
Then, she gave the earrings back to Donna and left the barbecue altogether.
But, the next day, the family drama continued to follow her. Apparently, Brent went over to her house and said she was wrong for not just going along with his family’s opinions.
He also claimed that two to three years was not that huge of a difference and, moreover, that she really hurt Donna. Then, Brent even had the nerve to ask her to call Donna and apologize!
This seriously pissed her off, and she ended up telling Brent that she was open to discussing her perspective in a civil way. However, there is no way that she would be apologizing to his mother.
So now, she has been left wondering if being honest about her life plans with Brent’s family– and refusing to apologize for them– makes her a jerk.
Do you think that Brent’s family forcing commitment on her is a red flag? Should she have to apologize for her beliefs? What would you have done in this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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