A 25-year-old girl has been dating her boyfriend, who is the same age as her, for the past 4 years.
She and her boyfriend have always enjoyed reading relationship quandaries shared by people on the internet, and they have always promised one another that they would not end up in a situation that could damage their relationship…yet they have.
Despite never wanting to end up like all of those internet strangers in predicaments, they’re exactly the people they have got a kick out of reading about.
Not too long ago, her boyfriend went on a bachelor trip, and she made sure to sit down with him before his departure to talk about boundaries.
She obviously wasn’t invited on this guy trip, and she made it clear to her boyfriend that she really wouldn’t be happy if he went to a club, but if it came down to all the guys going and he being left behind alone, she would make an exception for letting him go.
Sure enough, her boyfriend texted her on the bachelor trip to let her know that all of his friends insisted on going to a club, and he asked her for permission to go too.
She agreed, but not before reminding him that if any girl at the club danced for him that night, she would really not be alright with that happening.
“He assured me he wouldn’t and said he would just pay for drinks and be there for the others,” she explained.
“After a couple of hours (and texting back and forth during this time), he told me they’re done at the club, and when I asked how it went he said it was weird.”
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She carried on with texting her boyfriend, who was nothing but responsive for the remainder of the evening, and he didn’t really share any more information that she found alarming.
The following morning though, he filled her in that he did exactly what she didn’t want him to do; he let a girl dance for him and only him.
“His rationale was that he didn’t pay for it, his friends pressured him after hearing it was the first time and that the smoking + drinking made him give in,” she said.
“He said in the moment he did enjoy it (did not touch her though) but was also thinking about how much he loves me (?). After hearing this, I told him we were done and left to go pick up all my things from his house.”
“Since then, we’ve been talking, and I’ve been going back and forth on whether this is salvageable. The thing is, we’ve been together for almost 4 years (next month was going to be our anniversary) and frequently talked about getting married and even adopting a pet together in the near future.”
Her family really does like him, and his family likes her. They finally were hitting their stride in their lives, and she really believed their relationship was nothing but smooth sailing.
She has been experiencing a tough time in her life, and her boyfriend has been nothing but supportive through 4 consecutive disheartening events.
Her boyfriend was aware before going on the bachelor trip that she had been in such a bad place emotionally that she could not handle one more negative thing happening to her, and yet, he caused her a lot of pain anyway.
Her boyfriend swears that he’s sorry he let this girl at the club dance for him, and he has volunteered to do any single thing she wants him to in order to repair their relationship.
He even said he would be happy to pay for them to go to counseling together.
“I loved him so much, but part of me isn’t sure if I should give in,” she continued. “I always told myself I would never be flexible with things like this but I miss him so much, and part of me wants to try.”
“And honestly, I don’t even care about the dance anymore, I’m just more stuck on the fact that he asked, I said no, he went through with it, and would he do it again?”
“I also think it’s worth mentioning that both of us come from families where our dads cheated, and we said we would never be like that, so I feel like that’s what makes this feel worse too.”
Do you think she should try to take him back and go to counseling with him, or do you think she should stick to her plan of moving on with her life without him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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