A 26-year-old woman has a boyfriend who is 27, and she’s pretty much convinced at this point that their differences in spending money will be the downfall of their relationship.
She’s been with her boyfriend for close to a year, and she really wants to be married within 5 years or less.
“About me, I work FT with a salaried job; I live alone and am able to cover all my monthly expenses, with 10k savings set aside and occasional “treat yourself” purchases,” she explained.
“I also have student loans that I am working to pay off, sitting at around 36k.”
“I’ve lived away from home since I was 18, so I’ve learned financial responsibility over the years and the importance of living within my means.”
In contrast, her boyfriend grew up very differently, and he keeps on living a life that’s the polar opposite of hers.
Her boyfriend’s middle class and lives with his mom and dad.
His parents do not expect him to pay for rent, food, or other bills, so he doesn’t.
Although her boyfriend does have a full-time job too, he works a trade job as an apprentice, so he doesn’t make a lot and has to deal with layoffs during certain times of the year.
kiuikson – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purpose only, not the actual person
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“He spends money impulsively and seems to often have an empty bank account with a credit card balance despite having next to no fixed expenses,” she said.
Another thing that irritates her is that she drives more than 2 hours every week to spend time with her boyfriend since he actually does not drive.
She wishes her boyfriend would give her gas money, but he doesn’t unless she gets after him about contributing.
“Given what I’ve gathered from stories he’s told about his ex and some friends, as well as his parents, he has a habit of borderline financially abusing people,” she continued.
“I can tell his parents are frustrated that he’s basically not contributing financially to the household, however, it appears they have and continue to enable him in various ways.”
“This has been a growing concern for me as I look down the line and try to picture our future together.”
She anticipates that this fall, her boyfriend is going to get laid off yet again, and he’s going to be without work for 3 or 4 months after that.
Even though this is most likely going to happen, she knows her boyfriend will keep spending money like crazy and without any concerns.
“Admittedly, I feel resentful as I feel like he hasn’t contributed as much or made our relationship a priority,” she added.
“I acknowledge that I earn more, however, my fixed expenses are far higher, so realistically, we’re even when it comes to expendable income.”
“I want to be able to go on occasional dates, travel together, move in together, etc, but all I seem to hear about is a lack of $ and credit card debt, meanwhile he’ll go drop a few $100 here and there on impulse purchases, and I’m struggling to get through to him.”
Does this sound like something she can overcome, or does it seem like she probably should move on?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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