A 41-year-old dad has a daughter who is 19. Not that long ago, his daughter fessed up to him and his wife that she’s pregnant.
His daughter has been hiding this secret from him and his wife for 3 long months, and he says that his daughter’s baby daddy/boyfriend is pretty much trash.
“The Boyfriend is a scumbag who I thought she left after I gave her an ultimatum to either leave him or leave my house, to which she chose the latter, or at least I thought she did,” this dad explained.
“She started sobbing and telling us how sorry she was and that it was just a big mistake. I told her the only way she can stay in our house is if she gave the baby up for adoption because we won’t allow it to ruin her life.”
“She just kept pleading to us that she’ll take care of it, but I had a very hard time believing her after I just found out she’s been lying to me for months and going behind my back to see her boyfriend.”
His daughter said she would not adopt her baby, so he kicked her out of the house.
He knows his daughter is currently staying with one of her friends, but he’s not sure how long she will be staying there.
Ever since he kicked his daughter out, his wife has been very upset and has insisted that kicking their daughter out was very wrong of him.
This dad really struggled with what to do and how to handle this situation, and he thought kicking his daughter out really was best.
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He does not want his daughter to get away with this and have zero repercussions. When he was 19, he was fully on his own and caring for himself, so he thinks that may cause him to view all of this in a different light.
“Is it really wrong for me to kick my adult daughter out of my house after she lied to me?” he asked.
“I’m willing to see if I’ve taken things too far.”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“She’s an adult and chose to lie and put herself in this situation. There’s no way she can afford to support a child on her own. It’s not fair to expect her parents to do so like ppl in the comments seem to think.”
“… I would have done the same. Although I would have had a serious conversation first about what I am willing and unwilling to do, set very firm rules and boundaries as to my involvement and financial help which she has to accept if she wants to return.”
“If she chooses to keep the baby and if I’m financially able, I would help in initially setting her up outside of my home as I have no interest in raising another baby in my 40’s.”
“But I’m not going to financially support her forever. That being said, I would not leave her with completely no options, no support, and no help.”
“If you let her come back with her choosing to keep the baby, know that there will be responsibilities expected from you / that will fall on you and your wife considering she’s only 19.”
“Is she working? How will she support herself, is she going to pursue getting child support from the father? Either way it’s a difficult decision to make, best of luck to you and your daughter.”
“…You have given her an ultimatum back then and she did not heed. Now sh*t hits the fan for her and she comes crying back.”
“Where is the boyfriend now? After she comes back what is her plan moving forward? Sure though she made a mistake, did you have a sit down with her at least and didn’t like how she wants to move forward with this?”
“I wanted to say she made her choices, now she gets consequences.”
“She’s 19 so you can’t dictate who she sees and definitely can’t make her give away her baby.”
“She’s only going to resent you for the rest of her life. You can choose who stays in your house, but do you want a relationship with her in the future?”
“I don’t blame you for kicking her out or not liking the boyfriend but he is the dad to her child so she is going to have to see him whether they are together or not. If you want to be a part of her life and your grandchild’s life then I think you should consider helping her out.”
“Actions have consequences. If the daughter is of legal age and old enough to live her life as she pleases then she has to accept the cold reality that she may not like the hand that she deals herself.”
“Not knowing exactly what her behavior has been, Op may very well be concerned that he and his wife might get stuck being the ones to raise the next generation. There is a lot that we don’t know and Op does have a right to say no.”
“The daughter says I will take care of the baby but exactly how will she afford to? She will need to get a job to make money to put a roof over two heads and that will require child care. Does she expect Op and mom to do that for her?”
“She can file for child support and hopefully get it. Why is she couch surfing when she has a BF that should be taking her in? What about the other set of grandparents? Do they get a free pass? Why should everything end up on the shoulders of Op and his wife?”
“Is it a sh*tty situation? Absolutely yes. There are no winners. The only way I would have agreed to allow the daughter to stay would be if she was on a path towards eventual independence.”
“She would either have to obtain and maintain a job or get an education in order to get a decent job. Assistance would be provided for a fixed amount of time (including child care so daughter could work or go to class).”
“When she was not working or in school, she would be expected to be the sole caretaker of her child. Her partying days would be over.”
“Money earned would be used to take care of her child, pay for school, and put into savings. There would be an end date established and the daughter would have to prove that she could be a responsible parent.”
“Daughter should not be given a free ride as the time has come for her to grow up.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.