A 30-year-old woman has biological siblings, ages 37, 36, and 33, and a 31-year-old adopted sister named Becky.
Becky’s biological mom happens to be her mom’s cousin.
“The story of Becky getting adopted by my parents was basically her bio parents were addicts that just came one day out of the blue for a visit then abandoned her at my house (she was 5 weeks old),” she explained.
“For a few weeks they tried to get my cousin’s family to take her but those a******* didn’t want the shame of a baby with medical issues that was born out of wedlock. My parents fell in love with Becky and the rest was history.”
“Thankfully all Becky really needed was love and a good home, she beat a lot of odds and leads a healthy successful life.”
Her parents never kept it a secret that Becky was adopted. Becky also is biracial, so her parents had all of them learn about Becky’s heritage when they were little.
Honestly, she feels that their lives were perfect with Becky in it…until Becky’s biological parents contacted her when she was 22, saying they were no longer on drugs and had a desire to get to know her.
“In the space of a few months, she became a different person it was like she hated us for taking her away from her bio parents, as soon as she finished college and got the $20,000 check my parents gifted her (it’s a start-up we all got),” she said.
Becky stopped contacting all of them and even mailed a letter to their mom and dad saying she never wanted to hear from them again.
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Becky also threatened to file a restraining order against them if they tried to talk to her. She also went off and got married, but nobody knew that she had since she cut them all out of her life.
When Becky turned 26, her biological mom died, and then her biological dad started using drugs again and passed away several months after that.
Left without her biological parents, Becky decided it was time to get back together with her adopted parents, and they were happy to take her back into their lives.
She cannot just welcome Becky back the way her mom and dad did though, and she still hasn’t been able to get over what Becky did to all of them.
Recently, she and her husband welcomed a baby into their family after 6 years of going through IVF.
She took her baby to meet everyone at a family dinner and explained to her family that she is now trying to have another child.
“Becky made a comment about why we didn’t look into adoption since the world was already overpopulated I told her, “honestly we thought about it but after all the sh*t you pulled I’m afraid you’re the reason I will never adopt,” she continued.
Becky lost it on her, insisting she needed to move on, and then she stormed out.
Her mom thinks she should not have spoken to Becky the way that she did, and so, she wound up leaving the family dinner not long after Becky did.
Her biological siblings think she’s not in the wrong at all, but her mom and dad are absolutely furious with her.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“…If her bio parents were still alive she wouldn’t even be around y’all right now.”
“I don’t think the issue is with her wanting to know her birth parents, but for how horribly she handled the situation.”
“Imagine two loving people and their children rescuing a child from abject poverty, giving them everything they could ever want and need; only to be shunned and threatened with a restraining order?”
“Becky was abandoned by her birth parents and then abandoned by the rest of their family who didn’t want to take on a child with health needs.”
“That type of thing can create huge issues and a disordered attachment style (basically, insecurity over whether people really love her.) I’m involved in foster care, and this type of thing is very normal.”
“Becky perhaps felt that she almost needed to abandon her adoptive family in order to prove that her bio family really did love her. A bit twisted, but I’m sure her emotions at the time were very, very intense.”
“This is why, in foster care, even when it is very messy and complicated, we usually try to make sure children have contact with bio family – so they don’t develop some fantasy of what their ‘real’ family is like and run off to them the first chance they get.”
“Did Becky act fantastically? No, she didn’t. But, being the only adopted child in your family and bi-racial too must not have been very easy. I’m sure she felt quite different a lot of the time.”
“She asked why you wouldn’t adopt and she got her answer. I’d leave it there.”
“Is it possible that Becky’s parents lied to Becky about “leaving her behind?” Why, yes! It is quite possible that a pair of addicts rewrote their own history as a means of coping with their own actions.”
“And, by the time they got sober, they 100%, believed their own lies. I’ve seen it happen with enough non-addicts to know that people can totally succumb to their own “truths” – regardless of fact or fiction.”
“This is exactly what my biological mother did, tried to manipulate me and turn me against my parents.”
“Had it not been for the fact that I’d experienced her narcissism firsthand as an adult I worry that I may have made the wrong decision.”
“They know your weak spots and use them to get their way which can often result in hurt for everyone involved (except them).”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.