A 21-year-old man has been dating his 22-year-old girlfriend for 6 years, but they grew up together and started crushing on one another as kids.
Ever since his girlfriend was little, she has enjoyed dying her hair eye-catching colors.
“So far she’s done red, blue, purple, and blonde highlights, but never her whole head, usually only the bottom half of her hair,” he explained.
“I’ve never been a huge fan of it, but since it’s not her whole head, I was able to get over it pretty easily.”
She last dyed her hair about a year ago, and the ends of her hair still had the bleach in it. She recently cut her hair, getting rid of the last of the bleach, and now she wants to dye her hair another color.
This time, she wants to go for a vibrant green and black.
He admits that he does not like how this hair color looks on anyone, and he’s worried if his girlfriend goes through with this it’s going to take away from her beauty and “distract people.”
His girlfriend knows how much he dislikes the idea of her going for the green, so she’s been hesitant to go through with dying her hair.
Despite that, his girlfriend got an appointment at a hair salon to dye her hair for her, and she did not tell him this.
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His girlfriend’s friends were so supportive and happy for her to try a new color that they pooled their money together to pay for her to go to the salon.
When he found out, he let his girlfriend know that he was not happy about it, but he knows she has the power to do whatever she wishes because it is her body.
“Seeing my lack of enthusiasm and actual hatred for the style seemed to deflate her, and after a talk about it, she decided to cancel the appointment,” he said.
“Her friends are kind enough to let her keep the money in case she changes her mind or even use it for Christmas presents, but it broke my heart to see her go from so excited to so defeated just from hearing the opinion she already knew she was going to get from me.”
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“So you’re excited about her confidence boost as long as she only makes changes to herself that you approve of? Nice.”
“I have rocked bright purple hair for the last 5 years. If an SO tried to get me to change it before I decide that I’m ready to stop dyeing or do a different color they’d be gone because it would mean they don’t respect what I like.”
“Especially since they would be meeting me with again BRIGHT purple hair.”
“Are you one of my exes? I finished with a guy for making a fuss about me coloring my hair. Every time, he’d whine, despite him saying at the beginning of the relationship that he found that side of me “cool”.
“When I raised that point and asked why he was trying to change me, to which he replied, “It’s for your own good.” That was the final straw; I dumped him on the spot and went with one of his classmates within a week. It broke his heart. He brought it on himself.”
“It’s not her job to cater to you. You either get over it and get used to it without criticism or you find a girl whose hair preferences match yours.”
“I had long hair at that age and cut it all off to a pixie cut. Never occurred to me to ask my boyfriend’s opinion; I’m sure he would have been against it but he ended up absolutely loving it because he was really into ME.”
“She can have her hair any way she likes, you’re kind of coming off as controlling. What is she going to tell her friends, that she changed her mind because you wouldn’t like it?”
“Also, the comment about ‘distracting from her natural beauty’ just sounds a little like you don’t want anyone else looking at her because she would get a lot of attention.”
“I would understand if she was planning to have a dramatic hair cut because that would be permanent, hair color can be dyed back (it’s a process but do-able).”
“You’re equating the couple of hours per day of you viewing her hair to her 24/7 experience of having it colored wildly, along with the time/money/upkeep of having it done.”
“That in itself is presumptive but THEN you convince her that your opinion of her and her hair is more important than her own, so much to the tune that she cancels the appointment for her dream hair. Is that about right?”
“She loves bright hair, has her whole life. You need to get on board or at least shut up about not being on board. You’re placing your opinion of her appearance ahead of her feelings. Poor girl. I hope she gets her hair done exactly how she wants.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.