A 28-year-old man met his 27-year-old girlfriend three years ago, and back then he was pretty recently out of college and working crazy hours for not a lot of money.
He promised his girlfriend that the awful hours and the terrible pay wouldn’t be a waste, since he was trying to work as hard as he could to be in a great financial position.
His girlfriend never gave him a hard time about this, and he was able to move up in his career. He works as a CPA, and back when he met his girlfriend (who is a teacher) he made around $10,000 more than she did.
Now, he’s set to make four times what she does in the New Year. Aside from his girlfriend, his employer is the only other person who knows exactly what he makes with his bonus and annual pay.
“I always communicated with her that I would not spend a lot on a ring; $5K at the absolute maximum because I don’t believe the ring is worth the price,” he explained.
“These may be contentious words here, but the money can be spent better elsewhere. My viewpoint has always been: the excess money that could be spent on a ring would be better served going toward a house and the life built together there.”
“The price and make-up of the ring is not the significance of the commitment, but the ring is the commitment itself — i.e. a $1 vending machine ring is the same as a $35K ring at a base level; two people committing to joining lives together and about a 50:50 split if it goes belly up.”
He always made his position known about an engagement ring, and his girlfriend never had an issue with that.
His girlfriend even said that she thought it would be better for him to invest his money in a home for them, and he recently put in an offer on a 3,800 square foot house that has 4 bathrooms and 5 bedrooms.
Alinnan – stock.adobe.com
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This house is literally his dream and his girlfriend’s too, and if his offer is accepted, that’s going to be a big step towards their future and a big investment in that as well.
Given the fact that his girlfriend has been so previously agreeable about how much he wants to spend on an engagement ring and the fact that he thinks it’s better to spend more money on their future home, imagine his surprise at what went down yesterday on Christmas.
He and his girlfriend spent Christmas day with her family, and they are all aware of the fact that he and his girlfriend have been looking at homes that he will be buying for them.
His girlfriend’s family wondered if he was going to propose to her soon, and he insisted that he would pretty soon after he buys a house for them.
He joked with his girlfriend that “the down payment will dictate the ring size” and then he winked at his girlfriend.
His girlfriend’s family found his joke funny, but she got extremely upset and told her entire family what his salary is, before accusing him of being cheap.
Gajus – stock.adobe.com
“She then turned red and blurted out how much I make and that my cheap-*** won’t buy more than a $5K ring for her, that she’s spoken about it with her friends and they all agree it shows a lack of commitment from me especially when I can “easily afford so many times that,” he said.
“She began naming off how much her friend’s fiancés and husbands have spent on their rings; how could I be so rude to give her such an inadequate ring. It would be embarrassing to compare to her friends or show to anyone.”
His girlfriend thinks that he should be spending $20,000 or more on the ring than he feels comfortable spending, and remember, he told her all along what he thought he should spend.
Since he is making more money than ever and can afford a very nice house for them to live in, his girlfriend feels entitled to a more expensive ring.
Anyway, after his girlfriend called him cheap in front of her entire family, his girlfriend’s family got really uneasy.
He did reprimand his girlfriend in front of her loved ones for telling everyone how much he makes, which is private to him.
“As we were airing this all out in the open, I told her it was not her place to share my private information or our personal disagreement on the matter as I felt we were still working through it, but if she could not understand that the significant down payment on what would be our house, where we would raise our children, host Christmas gatherings; was the biggest commitment I could make to us, then we have soul searching to do and excused myself urging her to stay at her parents last night,” he continued.
And so, that brings us to today. He has no idea where this change in his girlfriend has come from, and he’s thinking this very well could be a big, red flag.
You can read the original post on Reddit here.