A woman has a boyfriend that she has been seeing for close to 2 years. She and he are pretty much opposites, but you know what they say about opposites attracting.
Despite their differences, they always are able to work through them.
Now, her boyfriend’s body is essentially 90% covered in tattoos, and they reach up to his neck.
“Today he’s employed and doing well for himself but his upbringing was quite rough,” she explained.
“I wouldn’t describe myself as “posh” at all but I come from a family where image, looks, and your accomplishments matter. However, I’d say I’m a little more casual than them.”
“A few months ago I finally got the courage to introduce him to my family. This was a HUGE deal to me and I told him that first impressions would make or break everything.”
“I told him that he will cover his tattoos – no ifs, ands or buts – because my parents are super old-fashioned. I bought him an outfit for the night to ensure he’d look presentable and classy.”
She also went through a “practice run” with him where she went over everything he should or should not say to her family members.
She told him exactly how he had to speak to them, and how to alleviate any “concerns” that her dad might bring up.
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Her boyfriend wasn’t really excited to go through all of this, which she thought seemed to be not a great sign.
“Fast forward to the dinner. It was an absolute DISASTER,” she said. “Yes my parents and sister were a little critical but they’re like that with any guy I date.”
“My bf was so pissed that he purposely unbuttoned the top of his shirt so you could see his tatted neck.”
“Of course that offended my parents and a huge argument ensued. Not only were they telling him that he’s not good enough for me, they were telling me how disappointed they are. It was a nightmare.”
Her boyfriend then told her parents that she actually likes the tattoos that he has, and her parents promptly kicked him out of their house.
“It goes without saying that my parents have 0 respect for him now,” she continued. “It was already difficult to convince them that he’s much sweeter than he may appear.”
“My mom has been hysterical and asking why I’m having “intimate relations” with someone who looks like they belong in prison(he’s not a criminal!). I have been guilt-tripped and made to feel like complete sh*t all because he chose to wreak havoc.”
Several days after that disastrous family dinner, she and her boyfriend got into an argument about it and she insisted that he should have just covered up his tattoos if he wanted to get respect from her family.
Her boyfriend was very upset by that and accused her of wanting to change who he is to get her family’s respect.
Her boyfriend also went so far as to accuse her of being embarrassed by him.
Following that argument, she really has not said much to her boyfriend. She’s left wondering if she’s a terrible person for making it clear to her boyfriend that he had to cover up to get respect from her parents since she knew they would lose it.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“You say you coached him on what to do, say, what to show ie his tattoos…. at what point were you going to show your parents your boyfriend and not this puppet you set up for their approval?”
“I get that it’s a lot of pressure to deal with from your family to ‘keep up standards’ but you’ve acted like you agree with those same standards wholeheartedly.”
“Why not warn your parents ahead of time that he is tattooed so your poor bf didn’t have to feel like he was being hidden away like so much cat vomit?”
“By telling him he has to appear acceptable to them you’re essentially telling everyone that you’re ashamed of him.”
“What was stopping you from telling your family about his tattoos earlier? Also, what was the plan for the future? Tattoos would have been seen sooner or later, as would his true personality.”
“…If you have to tell your BF to hide who he is, you’ve got no business being together.”
“You dragged your BF in front of your parents knowing the type of severely uncomfortable situation he’d be put in.”
“You made him swallow his pride to parade around like a monkey. After all that you had the audacity to take your parents’ side and make THEM and YOURSELF feel more comfortable instead of even bothering to consider his feelings in any of this.”
“You knew your parents wouldn’t approve so why bother even introducing him even if you’re hiding him. He’s right….that’s beyond f****** up.”
“I feel sorry for him truthfully. He MUST be a good dude for putting up with all of that and STILL speaking to you or even bothering being around you after the fact. Do better.”
“It is not your boyfriend’s job to undo the prejudice of your parents.”
“You wanted him to fabricate an entire personality for your own comfort because you were completely incapable of handling their response. You failed him entirely.”
“My parents are posh and really well-off. when I was around 20 I had a bf with a nose ring and a tattoo and told my mother that I would like her to meet him but that he wasn’t up to her “optical standards”. She was like “the children’s significant others have to, first and foremost, be what they want, not their parents want.”
“I’m covered in tattoos and if my husband did this to me when we first started dating I wouldn’t have stuck around. Why stay with someone who doesn’t accept you 100%?”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say here.