A mom has a daughter who is about to celebrate turning 7-years-old. The party she’s planning for her is going to include pizza and a movie.
Now, at her daughter’s school, there’s a policy in place that you have to invite all of the boys, all of the girls, or the entire class when throwing a party.
Not every parent adheres to this, which this mom doesn’t agree with, so she is having her daughter invite children in accordance with the school’s policy.
So, her daughter is going to be inviting her entire class to her birthday party. Well…nearly every kid will be invited.
“Here’s where I might have messed up,” this mom explained. “When we were writing out the invitations daughter asked me if we had to invite “Avery”. Avery has autism and something else, and she’s barely verbal, very hyperactive, and isn’t potty trained.”
“My daughter comes home with a story about something this kid did easily twice a week. She said she doesn’t want everyone paying attention to Avery “like they always do at school.” I thought about it and decided my daughter doesn’t have to invite her.”
Now, she doesn’t have any personal feelings towards Avery, but clearly, her daughter does, and she wants to be able to respect how her daughter feels.
One of the kids in her daughter’s class that was invited to the party has a mom that’s friends with Avery’s mom.
That mom took up the issue with her for Avery not getting invited, and her reply was that she wasn’t trying to be mean here, but her daughter should be able to have a nice time at her party.
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“She must have passed this on because the girl’s mom messaged me and said “thanks for reminding us yet again that we don’t get invited to things,” this mom said.
“I apologized but I stood firm.”
This mom does not want her daughter to be upset at her birthday party, and the thing is, her daughter didn’t get a birthday party because of the pandemic last year, so she wants this one to be enjoyable.
“But after the backlash I got I have to wonder if I’m somehow missing a chance to teach my daughter not to discriminate,” she concluded.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“As a mom of two kids on the autism spectrum, you are the parent I hated when my kids were growing up.”
“My kids would be in tears knowing they were the only ones left out over things they had no control over…Be kind and do better!”
“Breaking the rules is secondary to me.”
“I’m more concerned that instead of making it a teaching moment with her daughter to be kind, caring, and compassionate to everyone, she decided to teach her daughter that a person with a disability is LESS THAN.”
“This is a hard one because I have kids with disabilities that never get invited to things and it’s so devastatingly heartbreaking seeing them so hurt. My son is 7.5 and has never even been asked for a playdate.”
“My 15yo has never had a party. But the fact is your daughter comes first and if she will feel uncomfortable about inviting the child with special needs, then that seriously needs consideration.”
“I DO think you need to talk to your daughter though about inclusivity and acceptance, but she still shouldn’t be forced to invite someone she doesn’t want to.”
“I DON’T think inviting the whole class and excluding that one child was the right thing to do. That is a real a****** move for sure.”
“You could have invited just a handful of kids (the school rules are BS), the school really can’t tell you who you can and can’t invite to a party, that’s none of their business.”
“There are ways you could have sent invites without disrupting the teacher and class.”
“It’s not that Avery wasn’t invited. It’s that she’s the ONLY person who wasn’t invited. And that is not an okay thing to do to a person just so you can have your “special day.” If you need a “special day”, invite three close friends.”
“If you seriously think it’s more important that your daughter have every classmate she somewhat likes attend, than for a kid who will be disabled her whole life to feel like she’s a normal kid who fits in for once, then you’re a pretty s***** person.”
“One of the most important things I learned was that life doesn’t revolve around me, ever, even on my birthday. I question whether you did.”
“If you wanted to pick and choose, you should have just invited a few of her closer friends. It would be one thing if your daughter just wasn’t close to Avery, but you literally just excluded her BECAUSE of her disabilities.”
“If Avery doesn’t want her at her birthday, that’s fine, but then don’t invite the “whole class”.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had here.