A woman says that her surrogate is starting to act like her husband’s wife, so she’s in desperate need of some help with how to handle everything.
She started out by saying she has been with her husband for 5 years now, and they have always wanted to have children together.
Unfortunately, she has some health problems that have prevented her from having a child, so she and her husband figured it would be a good idea to find a surrogate.
Well, her friend has a 29-year-old sister named Brittany, and her friend suggested asking Brittany if she would like to be a surrogate for them.
Brittany used to be a single mom to a 4-year-old son, but he sadly passed away after a tragic accident. Despite that, she was in great mental health (and physical as well, according to this woman).
She thought this would be the best plan to go with Brittany as their surrogate since she knows Brittany and the rest of her friend’s family very well.
Brittany agreed to be a surrogate, and they moved forward with their arrangement, however, they did not get a contract drawn up.
Her friend was the one to say that they didn’t need anything legally binding since they all were like family anyway, and she went along with all this.
This woman and her husband worked out payment for Brittany, finalized their long and short-term plans with her, and scheduled the doctor appointments and counseling sessions.
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They ended up choosing a private clinic to have IVF done, and everything seemed to be going well…until Brittany took her first pregnancy test.
“She only told my husband though she had both our numbers,” this woman explained. “She only sent my husband a pic of the test while he was at work and sent me nothing when I gave her my personal contact info but it was okay.”
“Things got complicated when Brittany started having access to our credit cards for her own wants and claim they were the baby’s needs.”
Then, Brittany started only inviting this woman’s husband to all the doctor appointments with her. Brittany said the reason was that she was working too much and her husband was more available to be there.
This woman felt very isolated, but she figured Brittany was doing them a huge favor, so she really didn’t say anything. She and her husband both thought that dealing with all of this might just be part of the deal.
Brittany is now 7 months pregnant, and a few days ago, Brittany asked to meet with them to talk about some things they thought had already been finalized.
Brittany was not alone; her mom was there too for the meeting with this woman and her husband.
During their conversation, Brittany basically told this woman that she stressed her out over all her complaining.
Brittany then stated she wanted to have a say in what the baby’s name was going to be, before accusing this woman of deleting a list of baby names she had sent to this woman’s husband.
“She wanted more access to my husband’s credit cards/free time to get stuff done at her place. Also, more time with the baby than agreed on,” this woman said.
“Then wrapped up by saying only my husband should be with her in the delivery room and used the hospital as an excuse.”
This woman stopped the conversation right there by stating that she does not accept all of these new arrangements.
She also told Brittany “that she had to stop acting like she was my husband’s wife and this was their baby.”
Meanwhile, this woman’s husband didn’t have a single thing to say. When Brittany began crying, this woman’s husband said she needed to sit back down.
She refused, stating her boundaries and that Brittany was now overstepping them. Brittany’s mom joined in, freaking out on this woman for treating her daughter poorly when Brittany was being selfless for them.
Brittany’s mom told this woman she was being an ingrate over all Brittany was doing for them, and now this woman is wondering if she should apologize for what she said.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“Surrogates have no business being involved in naming the baby or dictating time spent with the child.”
“Red flags abound….you may have put yourself in a situation where an unstable person could now have leverage to essentially be a 3rd parent to your child.”
“I can’t even believe what I’m reading… they got a grieving mother (because yes, you’ll forever grieve that sort of loss) whose child died tragically to carry their baby for them AND didn’t think to have a lawyer involved? This sounds like a huge mess and I’m honestly sad for everybody involved.”
“Yea it seemed odd when she talked about the surrogate having time with the child. Not having any sort of contract for these sorts of things will never make sense to me.”
“Even if you are friends with the person it is an emotional, exhausting, and expensive time, and all parties involved need to be protected.”
“I don’t want to sound horrible but I would check if your husband is having an affair with her. If not physical then at least emotional.”
“My husband would tell me if someone who “involved” with both of us, was messaging him only. Also, it doesn’t even look like he’s defending you.”
“It’s crazy that he said nothing whilst she made her demands and when her mom was tearing you a new one. Strange. Strange. Strange.”
“Lawyer up, it sounds like she’s planning on keeping the baby for herself.”
“She wants the baby and the baby daddy. Sounds like he has the money to spare and she has set her sights on him.”
You can read the rest of what the internet had to say to her here.