A 26-year-old woman says that her husband left home around a week ago, and she has not talked to him since he left.
She got married to her husband two years ago, and she has been in a relationship with him for five years.
She is nearly eight months into her pregnancy right now, and this is going to be her and her husband’s first child.
When she learned that she was pregnant, she really wasn’t all that happy. Her family has issues with poor parenting, and pretty much all of her cousins and siblings had to be raised by her grandma and grandpa.
After living through that kind of childhood, her cousins and siblings decided to choose not to have their own children, or they decided that they were going to be far better parents than their own ones had been.
“I’ve always been in the not wanting kids group and my husband knows that,” this young woman explained.
“But, he’s always talked about how badly he wants to get me pregnant, so I’ve always told him that if it happened accidentally, we’d have a serious discussion about us keeping the baby.”
Well, they did get accidentally pregnant, and she is now eight months into her pregnancy.
“Anyway, it took me a while to get on board with the idea of being pregnant, and because I’m an incredibly anxious person, I voiced every “What if” thought in my mind,” she continued.
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She would constantly wonder out loud what would happen if she ends up forgetting her baby inside of her car, or what if she isn’t able to finish school now that she’s going to have a baby?
She admits that she’s pretty much been a wreck throughout her pregnancy, but then she ended up talking to her mom around a month back.
Her mom is why she didn’t ever want to be a mom, and speaking to her made her understand that she’s not going to abandon her child like her mom abandoned her.
She went from being only anxious about having a child to being excited about it, although she is still concerned about a lot of things.
Her husband, on the other hand, went from being excited to upset. He freaked out on her and said her being happy was mocking his happiness over the pregnancy.
“And he says that because of all of the complaining and worrying I did for the majority of my pregnancy (I’m not denying that it was a lot) he’s now scared of being a dad and no longer interested, altogether,” she said.
She thought he was being just emotional at that moment since he can get out of hand when he’s upset about things, but he slept on what he said and was gone the next morning.
It’s now been a whole week since he packed his bags and left home, and they have been “dodging each other’s phone calls since.”
“I understand not wanting to be a parent and I’d rather he bow out now than leave when our daughter is born, but I’m hurt that he feels I’m responsible for him not wanting to be a dad anymore,” she revealed.
She feels bad for causing her husband to feel like this, but she isn’t sure how she was supposed to hold her worries in and not say them aloud.
Here’s what the internet had to say.
“This sounds like you two were incompatible from the beginning. If one partner wants kids and the other doesn’t, then generally that’s a dealbreaker.”
“You should have had that serious discussion BEFORE you ever got pregnant.”
“He sounds quite immature and frankly I question his mental state. He can’t just up and leave his heavily pregnant wife and ignore her calls.”
“If he isn’t willing to come back and help clean up the mess then he needs to pay his dues another way.”
“Pretty sure you were forced into something because you love someone and wanted to make them happy.”
“And it seems like now that they got what they wanted, they realized it really wasn’t what they wanted.”
“Your husband is to blame here. I’m sorry this is happening. Because in the end, that child is going to suffer most.”
“He just walked out on his pregnant, emotionally charged wife. That he forced into this very situation.”
“He sounds like a child himself.”
“Your anxiety disorder could have soured the experience for him and now that you’re more “over it”, you expect him to spring back and be happy go lucky.”
“It’s exhausting to be married to a constantly anxious or depressed person, especially when they constantly complain about a mutually shared responsibility or event. You both need therapy.”
“With the level of complaining and type that you describe, yes, you really could have made him scared and anxious to be a parent with you.”
“That level of worry and complaining needs to be directed at a therapist, not your partner. Of course, he shouldn’t have just left like that though.”
“You have aged out of his interest group, and he is looking for a way out. When you were 21, he was 33.”
“There’s a reason he went after you, and it’s because no fully grown woman would give him the time of day or put up with his behavior.”
“Sorry you’re stuck with a kid, now. Hope his next partner is more age appropriate, but not likely.”
You can read the rest of the advice the internet had for her here.